1. The 3-Second Rule (anger/reaction) Every time something goes wrong or someone makes a mistake: shut your mouth for 3 full seconds. Non-negotiable. No exceptions. That gap is where the adult lives.
2. Name Before You React Before responding to anything emotionally charged, silently label it: “irritation,” “embarrassment,” “disappointment.” One word. Naming activates the prefrontal cortex; it literally interrupts the amygdala hijack.
3. The Curiosity Pivot (replaces judgment) When someone makes a mistake, replace the internal verdict with one genuine question: “what happened here?” Ask it out loud. Forces presence, kills the critical parent reflex.
4. Say No Once Per Day Small, low-stakes nos. Build the muscle deliberately. Frequency matters more than magnitude.
5. Full Presence Drill In every conversation: phone face-down, no mental rehearsing your next line, repeat back one thing they said before you respond.